As so many of our days seem to, this one began in an airport. Beijing Airport to be precise, which was humongous and quite spectacular as airports go. The ceiling in the check-in lounge is made up to look like a starry sky, or so we assume as Beijingers must miss the stars sometimes. We did, and we were only there for two weeks.
Eventually we got round to boarding the best flights of the trip - we rate Qatar Airways really highly. Particularly the Qatar Airways check-in girl, who was obviously charmed by us, and gave us the best seats on both flights with plenty of legroom. And they had a menu. On a plane! And of course all the standard mod-cons; TV's in the armrest, free travel toothbrush and eyepatch cover sleepy thing along with socks which Simon has proved to us make excellent gloves.
Doha Airport, in Qatar, was sadly less spectacular although pleasantly air-conditioned. Which was a good thing as when our flight landed at 4:30 AM local time, in darkness, it was already 33 degrees. Needless to say we didn't leave the departure lounge to go explore Doha as some random German guy had told us to. We instead spent the time playing with remote control cars and getting told off for taking photographs. Obviously we are suspicious types. Still, we have become extremely proficient at wasting time and we breezed through our measly seven hours of stopover.
This was followed by 5 more hours on another Qatar Airways plane, which was just as awesome, and eventually landed in Moscow 20 hours after leaving Beijing.
Now some of you may be thinking 'Those flights don't seem unnecessarily long - you got where you wanted to go.' Well, while this is technically true we were more than a little frustrated to notice in Beijing International that there was actually a direct flight to Moscow leaving before even our first flight did. STA are clearly silly, or possibly recieving commission from Qatar Airways. That said, had we got the direct flight it wouldn't have been on Qatar and consequently much less awesome.
Upon arrival we waited no more than 45 minutes for the typically efficient Russian baggage claim process to be completed and navigated smoothly to the hostel, where we promptly went to bed.
Thursday 25th August
The first thing we noticed about Russia was the temperature - it was lovely. Neither too hot nor too cold, not humid or smoggy and exactly what we expect from a proper summer. Take note world - this is how summers should be done.
Having stayed in bed for a pleasantly long time and devoured a delicious bacon-based breakfast we set out to book our final train ticket to St. Petersburg. After ambling vaguely between several different and apparently unrelated ticket offices with the help of several friendly locals we eventually found the correct office hidden in a corner. However the woman staffing it was not someone we would describe as a friendly native guide and the language barrier, for the first time on our trip, proved to be insurmountable. After throwing various bits of paper at her containing varied translations of various things we totally failed to get across what we wanted and she gave us a look that could be understood in any language, so we gave up and booked our tickets online instead. Which, to be honest, we really should have done in the first place.
After this escapade we decided to explore the sights in our immediate area. The Novospassky Monastery is just up the road and is an island of seclusion admist the busy city. Also its very pretty, and like any good Orthodox church, has several domes and a mass-grave under one of the towers. What more could you ask for? Moving on after a brief work-out outside the central cathedral we visited the Ecclesiastical Residence which was, as the name suggests, a house for priests. These days it's a crumbling ruin but the architecture still stands for now and is quite pleasing. Of course, we couldn't have told any of this at first as in the effort to find it we walked about a kilometre past it somehow before turning round in a mysterious and slightly threatening housing estate with an abandoned railway in it. Hotfooting it out the air of mystery and slight peril we about faced and apparently the change of angle was enough to find the place this time.
Sometimes we are still surprised that we manage to miss the only 16th century building within a mile. Other times we remember that it's us.
HOD: Ed for dealing with the train company's incessant nagging over the next few days.
Also, a very happy birthday to Mrs. Hannah Stuart-Davies on this day.
Friday 26th August
Another late start - they have become the norm now - and bacon breakfast - also the norm - began our day of dedicated touristing. We took the underground to the Red Square, Moscow's central plaza and home of such sights as the Kremlin, Lenin's Tomb and St. Basil's Cathedral, literally one of which we saw.
The Moscow underground system is really not the kind of place where one expects to see beautiful architecture, curving archways, stained-glass windows, mosaics, chandeliers and bas-relief sculptures but it is, oddly, where you find such things. The marble and gold decor did not cease to impress. Truly communism is great. Or something like that.
After getting lost only briefly this time, we found the Red Square itself. Strolling through we found all the sights mentioned above, although we could only watch from a distance as the whole area is closed down for a military tattoo taking place next week. Which was a bit annoying, especially as we aren't even here to see said parade. Nevermind; we could at least get into St. Basil's which was resplendant in it's ornate and colourful adornments. Here we had the pleasure of bumping into some Gregorian Chanters who were actually rather good, a fact that took us all by surprise. Shortly after watching their performance however, luckily having had a decent explore of the place, we were brusquely escorted from the premises for reasons unknown - presumably all the bombs we left in the chapels. Who knows?
Safely evacuated from the probable blast zone we crossed the square and resumed touristing in the State History Museum which is a spectacularly ostentatious building for your average museum. Still, it was rather good inside. Or at least, we assume it was good as everything was in Cyrillic so we were reduced to guesswork and shakey translations of Napoleonic-era French manuscripts to tell us what was going on. Naturally Simon and Guy once again pranced off to enjoy the past and emerged a good hour after the others were done.
This done we engaged in that most British of activites - walking blindly into a rainstorm whilst all the locals clung to doorways to avoid what is, in reality, just a bit of water really. Our point swiftly proved, we wandered around what is possibly the most expensive shopping centre known to man, located in a 19th century building, and waited for the rain to ease off. Our favourite shop therein was one that can only be described as an even fancier version of Waitrose, charging twice the price for the privilege of shopping in a building with marble floors.
Saturday 27th August
Saturday dawned a beautiful, sunny day full of promise and wondrement. Slightly burnt but still good home-made banana porridge infused us with positive energy for the day ahead.
Unfortunately, we would quite like not to have to write this blog after we return to England so instead of frolicking in the sunshine we spent literally all day inside writing, slowly tanning under the electric glow of the computer monitor. Simon and Ed spent so long writing that their backs hurt.
Admittedly, we brought this on ourselves and were somewhat distracted by reading the live text from the F1 qualifying and then the England rugby match, but despite this we almost finished anyway.
Progress was halted in the evening by a strong desire to eat steak and get gazeboed, so we proceeded onto the steps of the hostel and did so, Russian style.
Sunday 28th August
Today! This feels like quite an achievement...
Today was a much more satisfying day. We felt the warm kiss of the sun on our bleached skin once again as we ventured out into the urban wilderness, specifically towards the Central Museum Of Armed Forces. This time, we barely got lost at all! The museum proved to be an excellent choice for our final day in Moscow with only Tim, who is slightly poorly (awwwwwwwwwwww), getting bored and finding a bench to sit down on. The rest of us had a cracking time trying to guess what Russian things meant and remember the names of various different firearms and tanks. The open air tank climbing frame proved to be the highlight and Simon in particular got very excited over the whole thing. Ed too seemed to have absorbed much enthusiasm for the subject and is proud to note he understood most of what was said. His keen eye for tanks as possible gym equipment was also pleasing to all: chin-ups on a missile launcher? I think so.
Finishing this we are now sat about in our Moscow hostel, once again kindly letting us stay even though we aren't paying for it, prepared to catch our train at the totally reasonable hour of 2 AM. So for now, dosvedanya comrades.
DOD: Tim, for knocking over a plant pot. Muppet.
Simon and Ed MOT a T-34 
Ed and Guy having a cheeky one
Simon in full lecture mode
The blog really took it out of us 
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