Indiana Stickface and the Gap Year of Doom

Saturday 4th June - Ed's birthday!

The sunburn from yesterday had blossomed into a carnival of pain, and as such we didn't do much all day apart from whimpering and moving as little as possible. The most exciting thing that happened was Ed and Guy mounting a very successful expedition for bread. We decided to postpone Ed's birthday celebrations until a more suitable date.

Hero of the Day: Tim - for creating a smiley face on his chest with SPF50 sun cream
Douche of the Day: Tim - for creating a smiley face on his chest with SPF50 sun cream

Sunday 5th June

Today we decided to explore La Cabana, the old Spanish fort guarding the harbour. To get there we had to catch the bus we caught on Friday to get to the beach. This would prove to be our undoing, as Cubans, much like anyone with a nearby tropical beach, tend to go there en masse at the weekend, and as such the bus was packed. In fact, the driver was so keen that he neglected to stop at La Caban, despite touring the car park. This left us with a small problem, but being British, we decided we would rather get off the bus at the beach, grab an ice cream and wait for the next bus rather than lose face in front of people we would probably never see again.
When we finally did arrive at La Cabana, we found it curiously deserted for what one might think would be a popular tourist destination; this was made all the more surreal by the haunting strains of a salsa cover of The Beatles Yesterday drifting across the killzones between the battlements. Apart from that, there isn't much more to say - it's a fort! There were battlements, crenalations, cannon, remains of a downed USAF plane, a SCUD missile, cabinets full of weapons, and Simon running between all of these squealing. All that was left to do was wait for the bus to return... In the hour and a half it took us to realise that the bus wasn't coming and clamber into a taxi, Tim, Simon and Guy played Mornington Crescent while Ed resorted to tricep dips in confusion.
HOD: Ed - EVERYWHERE IS A GYM
DOD: Guy - accidentally clobbering Simon with the rum bottle he'd just drained.

Monday 6th June

Once More Unto The Beach!
On the way to the bus we stepped into a toyshop to pick up a frisbee; hilarious results are in the following pictures. Once at the beach, Tim and Simon commandeered some sun loungers while Ed and Guy went off to frolic in the sea. Upon their return they and Simon set off to forage for food. Oh. My. God. Pizza on the beach! We're easily pleased.
HOD: Simon - coming up with a bedtime story for Tim that was so potently hilarious it reduced Tim and Guy to helpless hysterics. Ed slept on unperturbed.
DOD: Simon - toddling blindly but happily into oncoming traffic.

Tuesday 7th June

Another fairly relaxed day. We headed into town to have a look around the cigar factory, situated in an unassuming building behind El Capitolio, revealed only by the flocks of tourists being herded by the ever numerous street vendors ("My friend! Cigar! For you, special price! Much cheaper than shop!"). Unfortunately, the tour was fully booked, so we just got some souvenirs from the shop (yes Jack, we got you one). Upon our return to the Casa Karlita, we were informed by Karlita that she had an electrical problem with the building and the electricity comapny were being slow to respond, so to save us a night without air conditioning, she had called a taxi to pick us up in an hour and take us to her other guesthouse a few blocks away. Much frantic packing later, and we were dumping our bags in new rooms for our final night in Cuba. Inconvenient though this was, she did knock a bit off our bill, so we weren't too fussed and appreciated the trouble she'd gone to for us. Tonight will see our triumphant return to Miguel's bar for dinner, and Guy and Simon shall partake of that greatest of Cuban delicacies, the fabled Habana cigar. Tomorrow, a flight to Panama, some waiting (10 huors of it in fact!) and then the US leg of our trip begins.